Rage Against My Religion

I think I might have a rage problem. Its not the type that you would expect however. Most people have road rage, domestic rage, primal rage. I have Jesus rage, and let me clarify, I am not mad at Jesus himself, I am mad at the crap people sell in his name. It is a problem I didn’t realize until this Christmas. My mom sent me a big box of presents and I was pretty excited about opening them. I figured I had given her a pretty good list, I ought to get some good stuff. But then I started opening the presents. The first present was in the shape of a CD. I figured, sweet, my mom got me one of the CDs I asked for. Nope. It was a Stephen Curtis Chapman Christmas album. If you are not familiar with his music, he is a Christian pop artist, or something. Come on, Mom, I asked for Audioslave! This ignited the rage, which was still small at this time. The next present looked promising, but, ohp…nope…a nativity scene set. What am I going to do with this? Christmas is over. Not that I would have set it up anyways. My studio apartment is full of empty beer cans, there’s no room for the baby Jesus. This added a few more large logs onto my rage fire. Well, the rest of my presents must be the good ones, right? Nope. I got a book on the birth of the baby Jesus. No not the Bible, some guys revamped interpretation of Christmas. Awesome. This would be a great gift for like an old lady, but what am I gonna do with it? I guess it goes in the pile of Jesus books I have received as gifts from earlier holidays.

Ok. I have to get something off my chest here. Jesus books are horrible gifts, unless you’re being confirmed into the church or baptized, which in these church related cases, I could understand. But for graduation and birthdays and such. No. Here is why. All the religious books that I have received, besides the Bible, are just some other Christian’s interpretation of how they think I should live. Sorry, but I have little respect for the opinions of some anonymous Christian who decided to write a book. What the hell do they know about Jesus, that I already don’t? Granted, I have never read the Bible, but if I wanted to know more about Jesus, it would be the first place I would look. Not some right wing Christian conservative who insults the intelligence of all church going people by forcing their children to learn about the “intelligent designer,” instead of real science. That’s the real beef that I have with organized Christianity is that it insults my intelligence to associate myself with people who can believe something so backwards and ridiculous. That’s what sucks. ‘Cause I’m not an atheist. But I also won’t believe whatever these crazy church people tell me to. They are screwing with their own kids and pretty much purposely giving them a learning disability by teaching them something that is closer related to complete make-believe than any kind of science. And the more we learn about the leading Christians, the harder it is to be associated with them. Like that one guy, Tim Haggard or whoever, who just got busted for buying meth and soliciting sex from a male prostitute? I don’t care who you are, that is way fucked up, especially when you are supposed to be setting an example for people who look to you for leadership. Not that I ever looked to this guy for any kind of guidance, but many people take their Christian leaders very seriously.

Sorry, I got completely off topic there. But I needed to say it. So anyways. Don’t send me anymore Jesus gifts for Christmas, please. It makes me mad.