Warm Beer, Please!

I work at a liquor store and you wouldn't think that I would be dealing with a majority of older people, but this is the reality in Jackson Hole, where the old and very rich run the place with their millions of dollars. Anyways, a common question I am asked by old men is, "Do you have any warm beer?" Just so you know, our store has no warm beer, it is all in the walk-in cooler. Old people who live in RVs like to buy warm beer because they believe that beer is as expire-able as milk. In case you don't know, this is not true. If you buy cold beer, let it sit at room temperature for 2 days, and then put it back in the fridge, it will taste the exact same.

Old people must think that there is two different trucks who deliver beer to stores. A cold beer truck and a warm beer truck. That is retarded. Anyone who drinks beer, should have found out early on that if you leave an unopened beer out overnight, that it is still good. Especially for the type of beer that most people buy. Bud Light, Coors Light, PBR. That shit doesn't go bad.

I think I am gonna do an experiment and let a beer cook in my car for four days and then taste test it against a refrigerated beer. The brand will be something cheap and I bet besides the temperature difference, it will not be that bad.

You are probably reading this and thinking, that is retarded, of course it will be bad. We'll see.

Anyways, so I says to the guy, I says..."No Fuckass, we keep all of our beer cold, the way it is supposed to be! Normal people don't buy warm beer, dick!"


I was gonna end this post here, but while I am on the subject of old people, I have something else to say. Old rich people think that they can say whatever they want. They seriously need someone to rock their world now and again to keep them in line. They are too used to everyone sucking up to them and waiting on them hand and foot. I was riding my bike down the street with my girlfriend the other day to a golf course bar and some old people were driving super slow right behind us, afraid to pass us because of their unsure old people driving skills. So, we get to the bar/restaurant and the lady from the car walks up behind us and feels she has to say something...in a thick German accent. "Why do you risk your lives riding your bikes in the street? There is a bike path, why don't you use it?"

Whoa...okay lady. First of all, people ride their bikes in the street all the time. Bikes have as much right to the road as any car. And second, how is it risking my life? I was on a 15 mph golf course road. I hope your feeble old husband has enough driving skill left to not kill people on bikes while he's idling his Jaguar down the street.

Of course, I said none of these things and just told the lady, okay, next time we will use the bike path. What I should have done, was teach that lady a lesson that you don't say shit like that to a young person who you don't know and isn't working for you. I should have slapped her right across her old lady face and told her, "NO! You don't talk to me!"

AHAHAHA!

Fear not, old people. My bark is worse than my bite.