Our Slaves: The Animals

Welcome to my world, dear reader. A writers best inspiration are a little bit of booze and a little bit of coffee. Mix'em up and shit starts flowing. So who else will admit to gettin supreme satisfaction out of teasing small animals? I will. Maybe you should try it sometime. Get out a big juicy piece of beef jerkey, find a hungry dog, wave the jerkey in front of its nose a few times until it gets excited, then just when the dog is about to jump up and snatch it, take a huge bite of it. The dog will immediately look dejected and confused. Stupid dog. Thought he was going to get a tasty snack. That's what it gets for trusting the hand of man. Animals should know by now that humans are completely untrustworthy creatures. But animals are stupid an gulible so they don't learn anything. That's why they are still animals and why we humans love to humiliate them. One thing I will never do though is dress a dog up in a sweater. I have to draw the line somewhere. And I believe that there is nothing more humiliating for an animal than to be dressed up in human clothes. I have to admit it is hard to resist kicking a dog in a sweater. Even though it is not really the dog's fault. His cruel human master forced it to wear such a humiliating thing. People know that animals hate wearing clothes, but make them do it anyways. Though I would never do it to a pet of my own, it is pretty funny at times. Like think of a bear wearing a hat, riding a unicycle. That's pretty funny. Or a cat dressed up like a medeival wizard. That's damn funny. The best part is that animals can't do shit about it. They are the inferior species and must do what they are made to do. Animals that get out of line are always shot. Think about it. A dog that bites people 'cause they try to put a sweater on it is accused of being mean and ill-tempered and usually sent to the dog pound to be put to death when really all it was doing was being a dog. A bear that eats people 'cause they are slow and easy to catch isn't accused of being a bear. Its labeled a man-eating monster and is shot on site, its carcass placed in a local gift shop for tourists to laugh at. Animals get the short end of the stick all the time. But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.