Darby Library

So this blog is about how I dislike small town librarians. Since the library is the only place in Darby that has wireless internet I find myself there more often than I would like. I also believe that I am the only person in town who uses the wireless internet. Very rarely does anyone else come in with a laptop. Most people just use the public computers to look at pictures of pickup trucks and read their horoscopes. Anyways. The librarians here are like Nazis about the computers. I have been scolded a number of times for not signing in to use my own computer. Who gives a shit? Its free. I'm not stealing anything. Also sometimes I find myself having to use the library's computers, which is even more of a pain in the ass. All the librarians seem to think I have no idea how the signing in process works even though I am at the library every other day. I even had one approach me with the sign-in sheet and accuse me of not signing it in a rather unpleasant tone that would have implied that I had shot her dog or something. I simply stated, "Uh...yes I did." And pointed out my name and the computer number. "Oh...sorry." Stupid bitch I signed your damn sheet, leave me the fuck alone. In small towns the internet is still pretty new. Most people don't even know what to do with it. The librarians consider themselves the local regulators of the internet and all its information. Most of the locals go along with it since they don't know any better. Sorry to burst your bubble, you weird looking lady, but the you can't stop me from using the internet for evil. Right now I am using it to publicly denounce your computer regulating practices.

Also while I was here today an old guy came in to donate some books and said, "Yeah you can have them, I don't read. I really hate to read." I guess I would hate it too if I was really bad at it. From his appearance I think you could make that assumption. But I guess he's in the right place.

Our Slaves: The Animals

Welcome to my world, dear reader. A writers best inspiration are a little bit of booze and a little bit of coffee. Mix'em up and shit starts flowing. So who else will admit to gettin supreme satisfaction out of teasing small animals? I will. Maybe you should try it sometime. Get out a big juicy piece of beef jerkey, find a hungry dog, wave the jerkey in front of its nose a few times until it gets excited, then just when the dog is about to jump up and snatch it, take a huge bite of it. The dog will immediately look dejected and confused. Stupid dog. Thought he was going to get a tasty snack. That's what it gets for trusting the hand of man. Animals should know by now that humans are completely untrustworthy creatures. But animals are stupid an gulible so they don't learn anything. That's why they are still animals and why we humans love to humiliate them. One thing I will never do though is dress a dog up in a sweater. I have to draw the line somewhere. And I believe that there is nothing more humiliating for an animal than to be dressed up in human clothes. I have to admit it is hard to resist kicking a dog in a sweater. Even though it is not really the dog's fault. His cruel human master forced it to wear such a humiliating thing. People know that animals hate wearing clothes, but make them do it anyways. Though I would never do it to a pet of my own, it is pretty funny at times. Like think of a bear wearing a hat, riding a unicycle. That's pretty funny. Or a cat dressed up like a medeival wizard. That's damn funny. The best part is that animals can't do shit about it. They are the inferior species and must do what they are made to do. Animals that get out of line are always shot. Think about it. A dog that bites people 'cause they try to put a sweater on it is accused of being mean and ill-tempered and usually sent to the dog pound to be put to death when really all it was doing was being a dog. A bear that eats people 'cause they are slow and easy to catch isn't accused of being a bear. Its labeled a man-eating monster and is shot on site, its carcass placed in a local gift shop for tourists to laugh at. Animals get the short end of the stick all the time. But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

Duh...

So I have lived among the lower middle class most of my life. And I guess you could say that I have come in contanct with my share of "Poor America". Many people in the country have been complaining of the growing gap between the rich and the poor. There is more reasons for this than most people will ever tell you. The first reason is that poor people are stupid. They've been bred that way. No better education or new schools can change that. Some people are just plain dumb. If your parents are stupid, then it is just plain fact that you will in fact be stupid as well. It is a sad truth I must admit, but a truth non-theless. How can you expect stupid people to help themselves? They can't. They will continue to spend their money on stupid things such as basketball shoes and pick-up trucks. They will never vote the way that they should since again, they are stupid and easily decieved. The Republican party are masters at decieving the poor white people of America. If they even vote. All they have to do is tell them that the Democrats are trying to change their way of life by taking their guns and letting gays get married and they are sold. These are all reasons why the poor get poorer and the rich get richer. Oh yeah and the rich also prey upon the poor and exploite their stupidity without a second thought.

Being a Bum in Seattle

So I was in Seattle this past weekend and anytime you go to a big city you know that you will have some sort of run in with a bum. This trip was no different. We were drunk in downtown, I had a bottle of cheap wine in my hand and an insatiable thirst on my lips. We were outside of an apartment building. A bum was there. "What kind of wine you got?", the bum asked. "This is our wine," someone replied. This sent the bum off on a tirade that only a bum can perform. "I didn't ask if it was yours! What you think I'm gonna take it? I wasn't always like this! And I won't always be like this! Damn Caucasians! Fuck you! But God bless you! Fuck you! But God bless you!" The bum was stumbling away the whole time he was yelling at us. We were pretty speechless. He probably shouted a few other things as well, but I was drunk and the details are hazy. I'd say I was a few sips of wine away from an alcohol induced bum tantrum as well.