T.O.

So, I'm back working for the ski resort, this season in the Ticket Office. My day pretty much consists of me telling people no. The complete opposite of what I got to do all summer, where I had to kiss people's asses all day. The mountain has some very non-customer friendly return policies when it comes to lift tickets. Pretty much once you give them your money, you ain't gettin' it back. Here are a few examples:

"Hi, we have to leave town early for a family emergency and were wondering if we could get some money back for days we didn't ski that we paid for."

Answer: "No Refunds."

"The weather was really unpleasant during our stay so we only skied 2 days out of the 5 we purchased. Can we get our money back?"

Answer: "Unpleasant weather? It snowed for 4 days straight! No Refunds!"

Reply: "Vail would have given us our money back!"

"Good for them. Go ski there and never come back!"

Rich people can be surprisingly cheap too. Mostly the old rich people. My favorite is when they ask me what the cheapest way to ski 5 days would be. I, of course know the answer, but I usually tell them, "Uhhh...a 5 day ticket is like 300 bucks or something. I'm not doing the math for you." Can't they see I'm in the middle of a really important game of solitaire? Its not like you can't afford the more expensive option anyway, you cheapskate old bastard.

What's really funny is how many people still ski with equipment and clothes from the '80s. Even in Jackson you see some of the most ridiculous outfits. Old guys in pink snowsuits wearing cowboy hats. Weird shit.