No Talking!

Today I was able to get through an entire day without having any kind of verbal contact with any other human being. Its not like I sat inside all day either. I went to the post office and the library, but no verbal interaction was required. It was not a conscious effort, it just happened at random and I realized it this evening. Then I got to thinking, how many other people can get away with that? How lucky am I, that from time to time, I can go a whole day without having to talk to anyone. I can think of no one off hand who can claim such a feat. Most people have jobs, and almost any job requires some verbal exchanges between people. And if not at their job, most people live with someone else, either their roommate or significant other, which again requires some verbal exchange nearly everyday. So I consider myself in the minority to have gone a whole day without speaking to anyone. I think this might be a fear of some peoples’. Probably some sort of phobia. Some people go their whole lives without ever living alone. To me that would be pretty crazy. I suspect most people crave social recognition from at least one other human being every day, even if it is just from the grocery store cashier. Not today. Me, personally, I consider the lust for human interaction to be a weakness, sort of an act of cowardice. People fear being alone, I embrace it as the absolute freedom within our social society. The freedom to live my own personally perfect lifestyle. When you live with other people, there are many formalities you have to go through that you probably don’t even realize. To some extent you have to adapt to living with the other person. If you live by yourself you don’t have to adapt to people at all, just your environment. Within your domestic structure, you can pretty much do whatever you want. Unless of course your lifestyle includes playing extremely loud opera and firing shotgun blasts through your ceiling. Then you might have to adapt a little. But if its just little stuff, you can create your own crazy internalized world. This may disturb any guests you have over, but fuck ‘em. They are guests in your home/ “world”, if they don’t like it they can leave. When I eventually acquire a more permanent residence, I hope I am not too lazy to make it the awesome world of Jeremy that I imagine. It will be complete with a throne room and a royal court of cats and dogs dressed as lords and ladies, all will be named after famous people from history, my favorite of which will be Robespierre, the kitty-cat court jester. I could go on in further description, but I will save that for a later date. If anyone ever reads this they might think, this guy must be the most anti-social mother fucker alive. Untrue. I work a job that requires me to be very social and if you met me, you would think I was as normal as anyone. As I view it, however, being social ends up tying you up in unwanted social obligations. Keeping in contact with people, making sure you invite the right people, making sure you fulfill obligations to people. Fuck that. I find it annoying enough that my family expects me to keep in regular contact with them. The more I live alone and separate myself from others, the more I embrace social seclusion. However, I also think that it is good to have the option of being social if you wish. I just enjoy having the choice to go a whole day, not talking to anyone if I so chose. Tomorrow I may chose to talk to many people. It just depends on my mood.

Happy Blogging New Year

I have always liked the phrase, "Its what I do, its not who I am." I don't know where it came from, or who said it, but who cares. It makes sense to me. What I do is work at a restaurant at a ski resort. Even before I worked there I have always thought that whatever job I found it would be what I did, not who I am. Anyone who defines themselves by their job has a problem in my book. Work sucks and is for suckers. Though my job calls for me to be social and outgoing, this is not how I spend my days away from work at all. In fact I think that the forced social interaction pushes me in the opposite direction on my days off. Some people might think that spending your free time in near complete solitude would be a sign of depression or some other psychological illness. Untrue. In fact I find it to be a most liberating kind of freedom. I don't have to listen to anyone. I don't have to compromise my spare time, I get to do exactly what I want. I remember when I was a freshman in college, my Resident Assistant for the floor of my dorm thought I was depressed and suggested that I attend an on campus depression screening. True story. She got this impression from the fact that I seemed to not be involved in a lot and also seemed a little bit withdrawn from what she thought was normal social interaction. She even almost had me fooled into thinking maybe I should go to that screening. In retrospect I think the only thing that kept me from going was my own laziness. But now I am glad I didn't attend. I wasn't depressed. Some people just enjoy being by themselves and not being involved with clubs or organizations. I am one of them. While every person needs some human interaction, I get plenty of it at work, so by the time I get some days off, I don't want to see or talk to anyone I know. Which, if you know me, is why I sometimes don't return your phonecalls. And let me tell you, those days off are key to my sanity. Nobody enjoys their days off more than I do. Also, I'm glad I don't have roommates or I would be on edge all the time. Living alone is the shit. For now at least.